Not trying to sound like very bitchy or anything. But like imagine your asked to choreograph something for the first time. Then you stay back like every Monday and wed after exam period to choreograph with your friend. You did it so hard to think of anything so the set mostly consists of what your fried thought of. And so after a long time of editing and re editing, you finally finish the set and you feel super proud of it. Cause it's the first thing you ever choreographed and like even though you didn't contribute much, in the end it's stil part of your set. And you want to like be proud of it for once and just lead the team in doing what you choreoed. But then your put at the far back end so don't you feel a bit unfair and like 不甘愿？I know it's all just cause its easier for me to move from this position and all and meryl says my captain feels bad but. The feeling is still there right? I'm not asking to be in the front for everything just cause oh I'm from cheer last year and I have experience and blahblah. It's just for that one set which i take so much pride in. But yeah I guess it's quite weird for me to run from the back to the front just for this right? Sigh. And the reason why I don't wanna tell my captain is cause she's already so tired planning all the formations and stuff then if I tell her I want to change like not only this set must be changed its the one before and the one after also. And then the girl who is supposedly taking 'my' position for TOTW and pom, they said she's not really that nice. And I always hated the idea of putting newcomers in such good positions cause like you know? They'll become all haughty and all. So yeah. Oh and I hate it when ppl say it's not convenient to keep running around. I know it's messy but i mean. Look at yellow. And and one more thing. I'll just be sad if rtlm... Nvm ._. Sometimes I wonder if momo hadn't changed me back to red house in sec1, would I have been in yellow cheer now? And arghhhhhhh church camp for the next whole week. I still have 5 sets to learn then plus combine its 6. Whoopeedoodoo. Let's see if tmr I learn the graffiti, then liane's and tessa's, I'll still have say 4 more? And I really think susie scheduled cheer at 9-12 cause she doesn't want hockey ppl to join. And then I'll be lagging behind and I can tell Tessa's alr very frustrated. Sorry Tessa :( well I did it last year, I can do it again this year. WATCH ME SUSIE. I don't care how tired I am during camp im still gonna still myself. Maybe I can get Tessa to pre teach me some sets or sth. And next year... Meryl's gonna be captain :D idk whether I'll be allowed to join, but I definitely want to. And imma choreo pom this time :D I mean if you really want something you'll do it no matter what right? So yeah I dont really care how tired I am, or how I need to study, I'm just gonna dance and dance and dance~ cause in my CCA we don't dance no. We run fucking 10 rounds of that stupid route thing every training. Like I didn't die enough for today. Anyway, back to the point. Since week3 I can't make it, I'll probably drag meryl to bishan EVERYDAY in week4 to make her drill me. Muahahha. And I still think I'll feel sad when we do totw or even Pom. I knew this post will make be sound so bitchy and attention seeking but. I just want to feel that I actually can dance, not like I suck so much or anything so I has to be at the back. I always think that the more seniority you got the more infront you'll be right? But then I think about b and s and s and Im like. Who ask them be so tall haha. Okay okay sorry for being so arghhhh. Even though no one is gonna read this post like seriously why am I even typing this. Okay I love red cheer :D liane tessa charlene shirlyn belinda shiqing ayana jiahui joelle yixuan meredith joe yandy jolyn brenda juline don cherylkoh hannah :D